Love Them Anyway

There’s a quote that says “Don’t cross oceans for people who wouldn’t cross a puddle for you.”

This mindset is cultural. We’ve grown up believing that everything we do should be reciprocated, especially if the other person is someone who cares about us. You texted first yesterday? Better wait to see if they text first next time. You told them “I love you”? Better not say it again until they say it. You bought dinner? Expect them to buy you dinner and dessert next time you hang out. You hold the door open for someone? They better say thank you or it wasn’t worth it.

It’s all give and take. And we always expect the “give” and the “take” to be equal. And if it’s not, if we don’t get a full return on our investment, then we decide that the “give” wasn’t worth it. And maybe next time we’re not willing to “give” as much because we’re afraid that what we get back won’t fill the part of us that we gave.

But that mindset is flawed. It robs us of what it truly means to love people. To be human. Love isn’t about “give” and “take”. It’s about surrender. A giving of self that is pure, unadulterated, no strings attached. And I’m not just talking about romantic, boyfriend/girlfriend lovey-dovey type love. I’m talking about the love that radiates off of us because of who we are. The kind that impacts every person we come into contact with. That leaves a mark on every path that crosses our own.

Someone already thought of that, though, and they added to the quote. They added, “No, do it. Do cross oceans for people. Love people, all people. No conditions attached, no wondering whether or not they’re worthy. Cross oceans, climb mountains. Life and love isn’t about what you gain, it’s about what you give. It may hurt when they don’t reciprocate, but better hurt than hardened. Recognize that the other person is you.”

And that kind of mindset, my friends, is power. Not power over other people, which is what a reciprocal culture sets us up to believe. But power over defying societal expectations and loving people anyway. Power over knowing who you are and not needing to be validated by everyone around you. And they’re right, it’s better to be hurt than hardened. Because being hurt is vulnerable, and it’s painful and uncomfortable, but being hurt makes room for growth, whereas being hardened makes us numb, angry, unlovable because we’re afraid of feeling the pain and discomfort of disappointment. But people around us have been hurt, and people around us having hardened themselves to positive emotions, which makes it even more important to chip away at those feelings. To show love to people who may not be ready or able to show it back. Loving people even when they don’t deserve it, being kind to everyone you come into contact with, and giving of yourself with expectation - that’s power. Power to be a shining light in a dark world.

There’s this guy I look up to. Name’s Jesus. You might have heard of him once or twice. Imagine if Jesus only did things for people who could also do something for him. Blind eyes wouldn’t have be opened, deaf ears would still be closed, people wouldn’t have been set free, and sin and death would still have power over us rather than us being able to walk in freedom of bondage of any kind. Jesus loved everyone around him. He was kind. He accepted people who had been outcast by society, he looked for the person who was unseen and saw them, loved the unlovable, spoke life into people who had made terrible mistakes in the past, encouraged people, and helped people reach their full potential. He did nothing with the expectation of getting something in return, and everything with the pure intention of love for the sake of love.

True character is how you treat people who can do nothing for you. And although all of us deserved to be treated well, to be loved back, to be shown kindness and love and everything else, how we treat other people shouldn’t be dependent on that. So let’s choose to be kind. Always. Let’s choose to give people the benefit of the doubt, to show love to everyone around us. Let’s cross oceans for people. Climb mountains. Jump over puddles and trudge through darkness. Let’s love like Jesus loved, and just maybe the world around us will begin to change - one act of kindness at a time.

Jaryn is a high school English teacher and track coach in Eaton, Colorado and her and her husband, Joshua, run New Youth Society, which is a youth ministry, at Citipointe Noco in Loveland, Colorado. I have now know Jaryn for three years and she is not only one of my best friends and someone I can always count on, but she is also one of the people that I look up to for advice on anything and everything.

Prayer:

Jesus. You are so so good. I pray that Jaryn’s words today have touched each and every individual in the way you need it to. I pray that they make the choice to love everyone in their life no matter what. I thank you for giving Jaryn and Joshua the opportunity to lead the youth each and every week! I love you so much. Thank you for everything you have done and everyone you will do in the time that is still to come. Amen